Is this going to be on the test?

In a recent interview, business author Seth Godin suggested that many aspects of our education and economic system have been structured around the idea that someone creates the most value when they are trained to perform a given task. Competent obedience emphasizes mental querying over the discovery of novel ideas, and may very well have been a scarce and valuable resource in a number of advanced and technical fields. As global connectivity brings billions of resourceful and ambitious people into an economy provisioned with instant access to the world's information, one may wonder how the 'do a trick, here's a treat' service may become commoditized.

As big complex organizations seek to grow shareholder value over trust and loyalty among customers and employees, they are less interested in rewarding the tricks, and the people who build lives around them end up living on the defense rather than the offense. Beyond its affect on the long term viability of their employees and customers, the companies themselves could be at risk. In the case of the S&P 500, the companies of 1960 could expect to remain on the index for 60+ years on average. By 2020, that number is estimated to be less than 20 years, and continue to approach 10 by 2030.

So how does one thrive in a rapidly connecting global economy? A convention-defying mindset may be among the best paths one can take. Early in their lives, the founders of Google, Ford, Amazon, and Wikipedia all benefited from a Motessori approach to education, which emphasizes indepdence, exploration and freedom over traditional didactic instruction.  In 2015 findings by Wharton Professor Adam Grant, those who defy the status quo are much more likely to make significant contributions to mankind than those who demonstrate gifted and talented traits. By these measures, those who prioritize following directions become those who get left behind.

How Super Bowl Ads Change Our Beliefs

An established ad exec was recently asked what makes a successful Super Bowl advertisement, to which he replied 'Successful ads hold a mirror up to ourselves and have a value system with which we can identify.' While this may elegantly explain the success of certain ads, and the increasing level of sophistication that consumers are alleged to demonstrate each year, it does not explain our continuing suceptibility to talking babies, animals doing people things, celebrity endorsements, and scantily clad models.

In 1929, an ad exec in NYC convinced a number of women to defy taboo by publicly lighting cigarettes at an easter sunday parade as a demonstration of their indepdence. This 'Torches of Freedom' rally led to an entire generation of female smokers and years of profits for the tobacco industry.  Those who have been casual viewers of Super Bowl performances since the early 2000s often recall one involving a wardrobe malfunction that is among the most memorable. And in 2016, a billionare who has a history of disparaging remarks toward women, muslims and latinos without remorse still managed to capture the imagination and gossip circles of the American people as a leading contender for the Republican nomination for president.

Effective messages provoke our heart or our mind, and some manage to do both. They focus in on certain ideas, norms or institutions and portray aspects of them as absurd or ripe for change often through hyperbole. They might even use nostalgia to provoke the naivety or imperfect taste of our former selves. Changing the beliefs that govern our behaviors is essential to creating any effective, long term change.  And if we don't feel a need to share our interpretation of a message with others, then it may not instill within us a need to change in the first place.

‘Leaders Eat Last’: Why The Selfless Succeed

Is greed good? While many companies appreciate the value of programs aimed at supporting employee development and workplace satisfaction, they face more pressure from Wall Street, corporate boards and competition than ever. Employees know that efforts to improve satisfaction are perceived as less vital, so they compromise the potential to find a job they love somewhere else in exchange for the stability that is supposedly offered in return. ‘Leaders Eat Last’ by Simon Sinek argues that companies and employees are settling for workplace conditions that sabatoge long-term success for everyone, and would benefit from models where money serves as a commodity to grow people instead of people serving as a commodity to grow money.  

 

Our willingness to equip leaders with fancy perks in exchange for security is not a modern day phenomenon, but is actually deeply seated in our biology as humans. As mammals, our brain chemistry evolved beyond those of our reptilian peers to incentivize symbiotic relationships such as the coach and player or the leader and follower. Without the protection of leaders, people are forced to work alone or in small tribes to protect and advance their own interests. And in so doing, silos form, politics entrench, mistakes are covered up instead of exposed, the spread of information slows and unease soon replaces any sense of cooperation and security. Leaders, Sinek argues, reduce the threats people feel inside the group by creating a circle of safety, which frees them up to focus more time and energy to protect the organization from the constant dangers outside and seize the big opportunities.

 

Leaders who do not establish a circle of safety for their employees pose negative effects on both long-term company performance and the health and welfare of its people. Those who take steps to protect their own interests at the expense of others send messages to their organizations that it is okay to do the same. According to Sinek, the ethical lapses that led to the financial crisis at places like Goldman Sachs were attributable to this phenomenon. As for the family-minded employees that sacrifice happiness in exchange for stability? A study by two researchers at the Graduate School of Social Work at Boston College found that a child’s sense of well-being is affected less by the long hours their parents put in at work and more by the mood their parents are in when they come home. Children are better off having a parent who works into the night at a job they love than a parent who works shorter hours but comes home unhappy.

 

So how do we promote better leaders at work and in society? Organizations where leaders advance their own interests over those of the group are common, and those who associate with them may need to question the returns they receive under that social contract.  Revolutionary organizations can be based on more essential ideas, or as one CEO puts it “We want our company to be one that our mothers and fathers would be proud of us for building,”. Capitalism works most effectively, the book posits, when it leverages human nature to inspire cooperation, trust and loyalty within a group and bring them toward a common cause.

The Secret To Perfect Compatibility

The life that my father worked to architect for my 3 siblings and I was one that could only be dreamt by the most extroverted of extroverts. At any given time, there were far more ducks, cats, dogs, kids, music, lawn equipment, noise-making toys, appliances, and activities than a single family home in upstate New York might have warranted, and left it as an outlier in an unequivocally introverted neighborhood. Most children go on to construct their own idealized worlds as adults, and our departure years later led him to find other ways to sustain the carnival.  His fascination with antique chiming clocks became apparent after I left for college. His return from a trip to the black forest of Germany included a rosewood cuckoo clock that was roughly the size of a toaster that he hung proudly in our family room. The passing of his mother later left him with 2 grandfather-style clocks with large gonging chimes to complement his existing collection of 2. By my late twenties, a grand total of 8 regularly-chiming clocks had been dispersed and meticulously maintained throughout the house, and rendered any attempt to perform an act of concentration impossible - especially if such an act was to occur during the most fearsome strike of 12.

My father describes his introduction to my mother in the early 1970s as one of divine grace. He does not refute those who knew him from the time that characterize a derelict nearing self-destruction. Facing prospects of deployment in Vietnam, he recalls being a conflict-averse and life-loving young man whose inclination toward debauchery was one that might have led him to jail or worse. My mother, who is remembered as an obedient, school-oriented college student, was a saint by comparison. Her ability to see through his limited abilities for self preservation and find an affectionate, diligent and generous family man were among the reasons that she was able to demonstrate the patience required for a 40+ year marriage to continue to succeed today.

No matter how perfect a person might be perceived, being around them for a period like 40 years is not easy. The greatest lesson about compatibility that we learn from people like my parents is that it is only achieved when we stop looking for it. By finding ways to look past their faults, we achieve compatibility with the people in our lives by focusing on the attributes that we can admire and respect. Not every person we encounter will be able to move past the less desirable aspects of our character, but the ones that do can become the ones we hold on to. 

3 Beliefs I Needed To Run 1,100 Miles This Year

1,100 miles gives you a lot of time to think about things. Roughly New York to Orlando. The how, what, who, where, and when of the equation is fairly simple, and is in large part due to the family, friends, and colleagues who supported me along the way. The 'why' is something I have yet to fully process and may need a few more years to effectively articulate. But in the spirit of capturing the final sentiments of 2015, I can say with some certainty that the answer isn't as simple as 'Gosh, I just love running!'. At least not to the extent that I love cheeseburgers, IPAs and the band Kings of Leon.

If one accepts the first law of thermodynamics, which states that energy cannot be created or destroyed, then it is far more useful to question what beliefs had to change in order to result in a healthier redistribution of energy. In the past 6 years, my journey toward adulthood has been characterized by incredible fortune, success, and happiness, but not without angst, disappointment and frustration. During the same time, those privileged enough to enter the real world with a college education have been derided for having blind idealism and overconfidence in themselves. It is for this reason that my reluctance to accept a much more complicated and unforgiving world is less remarkable than the means by which I've learned to cope with it.

Here are 3 beliefs that led me toward healthier forms of self-medication that include running:

Far more people are comfortable with the status quo than we appreciate. And while those people can be influenced, it is rare that can they be changed. One may have revolutionary ideas on business, relationships, society, religion, or art. Their ideas may even be good ones. And while the world will need such ideas, talent, energy and creativity to solve its most challenging problems, it is difficult for many people to embrace change that pose risks to their livelihoods, reputations and families, especially when they lack the personal experience or vision to suggest its even possible. These changes may also run counter to beliefs and habits that have resulted from years and years of self-reinforcement. Instead of seeing this as a limitation, understanding this can enable us to direct energy toward more fruitful pursuits.

Bearing responsibility for our behaviors is more practical than bearing responsibility for our circumstances. We are already fortunate enough to live in the most peaceful era of human existence. And if you used a toilet in the past 24 hours, you are among the privileged 50% of people that have access to sanitation in this world. This fortune is compounded when you consider the many other things over which we have little to no control of or responsibility for. At some point, it is with certainty that we will experience unhappiness with our job, our home, our government, or our relationships. While its tempting to take on these challenges all at once, it is in the best interest of our sanity and health to revert the focus to our own actions as much as possible. Making oneself a slave or master to anything else leads to a dead end.

Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts we can give anyone- including ourselves. It is natural to spend hours, days, or even years devoting negative energy toward how much someone did us wrong. Or how much we failed to realize our potential. Or how much we disappointed someone. But the future depends on people that can accept how imperfect people are, especially as their younger selves or those in less fortunate circumstances, and find ways to reconcile with it and move on. Whether it's a conversation with the person, God or with ourselves, making this a regular habit can transform many areas of our lives.

Sold on running? You can read my top tips for first time marathoners here. 

Enjoy music? The 12 songs that defined the year are available here.

The status update as a status update

So many of us can tie up our sense of validation to our external environment: our job (or school), who we associate with and what people think of us, the things we buy, our bodies, the things we can share on Facebook, any of the conventional indicators of social status. What's even more challenging is that one's job has historically been the foundation upon which humans build their families, communities, and lives. In environments where jobs are no longer a given, our generation has been left with the status update as our status update.

The more challenging journey, but more rewarding one, is finding ways to create an internal environment that we're proud of: one that doesn't let people control our emotions, that isn't a slave to the emotions that cause us to use food, drugs or alcohol as self-medication, an environment that acknowledges how little is in our control, and how unrealistic it is to bear the burden of being responsible and at fault for everything bad in your life. One where we can cultivate habits that make us humbly serve and celebrate others, and in as many moments as possible, be thankful that the universe permitted us the chance to be alive and to do it.

I'm not there yet, but this is beyond the desert I'm walking through.

Couch to IRONMAN: 3 Lessons From Completing ‘The Hardest Day In Sports’

Each year, athletes worldwide compete in ultra endurance triathlons called IRONMAN, which consist of a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike and 26.2 mile run in a single day. As someone who had never played a varsity sport, here are the lessons and moments that defined my journey.

Up until very recently, the life of a human on this planet has been a complete drag. It was 110 degrees when I stood in the master suite of an enormous castle in Hyderabad, India and realized ‘I’d rather be the poorest person today than the richest person 500 years ago.’ We still have work to do, but even some of our poorest have better access to sanitation, healthcare, instant answers to questions from most of recorded history, protection from far less violence than the media might like to portray, and of course, air conditioning.

Despite our fortune, so many of us choose less comfortable lifestyles. The path to where I am took thousands of hours of strenuous physical exertion in rain, sleet and snow. There were moments when ankles were sprained, toenails turned black, and shirts were soaked with blood. There were opportunities missed that might have made me closer with my family, more successful in my career, or more prosperous in the elusive ‘lady department’. Days that included 6 hours on a bike saddle or 4 hours hitting pavement in 90 degree heat were not uncommon.

It’s difficult for any person to truly appreciate their deepest-held assumptions on life and how the world is ‘supposed to work’ until those assumptions prove themselves utterly incorrect. For several decades, an entire generation of children were beaten over the head with the notion that good grades and expensive degrees that certify one’s ‘passions’ were the most appropriate paths to success. And why not? By the time our economic growth peaked in 2000, we had federal budget surpluses, lucrative prospects for internet startups, and a very healthy S&P 500.

The tragedy of these and other assumptions didn’t become clear to us until the successive economic crises of the 2000s, when we began to discover that not all internet companies are worth more than their tangible assets, not everyone is economically suitable for a home or student loan, and that financial institutions and utilities don’t always behave in the best interests of the economy, or even of themselves. And beyond economics, we also learned that the developed world cannot be a bystander for the poorest areas where violence breeds.

Three years ago, I stood 20 minutes from the scene and watched newscasters describe the violent deaths of 20 small children and 6 adults at an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut. Despite not knowing anyone personally, I joined rest of the country in having difficulty detaching from the tragedy. From a park bench a few weeks later, I wrote the heading ‘Lowest point ever?’ and listed the words ‘car stolen’, ‘root canal’, ‘overweight’ and ‘marriage proposal declined’. As a master’s degree laureate, an employee at a respected international company, and a trusted friend to many, I wondered if these were the right outcomes for an idealistic young person who always did his best to please the people around him.

Those who have experienced trauma know that it can be a powerful catalyst for change, and the question ‘what am I willing to ask from myself?’ had yet to occur to me. My ambitions began modestly with 30 minutes of continuous running, and never exceeded the next milestone. As I developed healthier habits and sought interesting events to participate in, I met giants whose shoulders I could stand on. I got know a former Division-1 runner well. Around the same time, I had the opportunity to work for an IRONMAN finisher. In 2014, I met someone who completed it with one leg. Steve Jobs said ‘You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future’ and with each mentor, run or ride, the excuses began to fade and the dream became reachable.

Success rarely comes without failure or temptations to quit. A number of loved ones took great expense to attend my first attempt at IRONMAN, which took place in August 2015 at an elevation of 5,400 feet in the foothills of Boulder, Colorado. While the swim and bike portions went exceedingly well, I began to experience convulsions in my calf muscles in the 8th mile of the marathon that gradually spread throughout my legs and rendered me unable to stand. After 10 or so hours and their fourth intervention at mile 13, the medical team dismissed me from the competition citing severe cramping from insufficient sodium intake and elevation.

While the pursuit nearly lost its significance, I had to recognize the uncertainty of having the unique combination of health and means to attempt the race again. Voices of doubt remained through mile 130 of the Cozumel event three months later, but the mind has a tendency to be a terrible master. Despite minor injuries, I was warmly greeted by thousands of cheering Latinos as I crossed the finish line at a modest trot at the 13 hour and 32 minute mark. At this moment, ‘delayed gratification’ bore a new meaning.

In these challenging years, I have embraced the position that character must begin from within and work its way out, as opposed to the materialism that so many pursue in its place. There is no question that I still want the trophy wife, the luxury sedan, and the colonial style home, but pursuing them will only interfere with my journey towards success. I've seen happiness in the slums of Mumbai. And I've seen millionaires ride subways in New York. What I truly admire in others is the kind of maturity that only emerges from endurance of the mind, body, heart and soul. To be powerful, yet benevolent. To be admired, yet enable others to be just as much or more.

Aside from a hefty medal or bumper sticker, the ultimate reward is what you will discover about yourself. Here are three lessons from my journey to IRONMAN:

1. Positive habits have compounding properties. Every day, our inertia challenges us to be less than we are capable of being . To eat less healthy. To distract ourselves. To respond hastily to things that upset us. To sit. The war will not be won in a day, but each of us has the ability to pick a battle with ourselves. And once we begin to win them, it makes way for the habits that can define our victories.

2. Extraordinary things can be achieved without extraordinary abilities or resources. I did not have the coaching or club team to prepare for this, nor the experience or evidence to suggest it was possible. But research from individuals like Malcolm Gladwell suggests that the wealth and fame from which multi-billionaires and world class athletes benefit can be reduced to a combination of remarkable effort and circumstances. Unfortunately, many of us only have immediate control over one of those factors. A disciplined exertion of effort can become easier if we are able to…

3. Quiet the noise. Whether positive or negative in their intent, most of the external stimuli that we experience on a day-to-day basis at work or at home represent how other people believe we should think or behave. Should we succeed in asking of ourselves and limiting external influences, each of us has the ability to do things that inspire others.

In doing so, it helps us to find the good.


(Completing an IRONMAN would not have been possible without the support of colleagues at Corning Incorporated and Sikorsky Aircraft, my parents Wanda and Wayne, Marc, Jessica, Sylvia and all of my friends, siblings and family. Being in your lives has been my greatest blessing — thank you for turning a dream into a reality!)