"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
A Life Unfulfilled
Most human beings live and die compromising lives. An Australian nurse named Bronnie Ware spent much of her career during the 1990's and 2000's working with terminally ill patients. A few years ago, she documented what she had observed as their top five regrets:
- I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
- I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
- I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
- I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This list should hardly surprise anyone, even those who see much of their lives in front of them. When we accept more hobbies, responsibilities, and physical possessions into our lives, we are at risk for compromising them. More now than ever, we all are guilty of welcoming indulgences and distractions. Despite an unprecedented level of improved access to electricity, air conditioning, and nutrition, those who capitalize off of fear (cable news, television, and Hollywood) are infiltrating more and more of our daily lives - and in full HD and stereo sound.
Its not that compromised lives can't be happy ones, but satisfying the pressure to fulfill expectations can inhibit happiness. You will not have the license to give society a blind eye, as you'd be hard pressed to find a relevant respected figure that wasn't or isn't intrinsically motivated to benefit a group of people. Making lives easier or better MUST be the cornerstone of your existence, and this piece is more about reaching a state where you are physically able to do so. Having a basic understanding of your decision-making preferences, as well as those of who you follow and lead, will better position you to further the unique value that you were meant to bring to the world.
Who You Are (An Introduction to Myers-Briggs)
When you first began to pick up small objects as a child, no person trained you or forced you to use your left or right hand. Neither did any other genetic characteristics or particular Yanni album that your mom might have played while you were in the womb (though 'Live at the Acropolis' has been known to have a devastating affect on a baby's contempt for mustaches). You simply had an innate, unique preference that developed over a given period of time, which can be sometimes more spectral in nature than others. The Myers-Briggs personality profile is the single most implemented psycho-social device that Fortune 500 companies use to understand people, and in its analysis, works much the same way as your preference for handedness.
Myers-Briggs has four key areas of makeup that contain two opposite preferences. In practice, individuals studied are more often than not located somewhere along the spectrum of the opposites, some more polarized than others. It is valuable in professional and personal relationships and decisions, appreciating what makes you and others tick, and how you can better interact. Understand that it is purely a tool for human observation, and has nothing to do with scoring or IQ relative to any given population.
Apply Generously
Preference #1: Extroverted (E) vs. Introverted (I) (Energy from people vs. Energy from ideas)
- You probably that that this fancy schmancy psychoanalytical Myers-Briggs device would be insanely inaccessible, and while the next three get a little less accessible in nature, I wouldn't be discussing Myers-Briggs without it being relatively easy to understand.
- A lot of things can be observed at a dinner party, but extroverts and introverts are best identified by the level of energy that they may be getting out of these people versus the energy that they must put into interacting with people. Most of us have spent enough time 'in the hole' re: public school to have met a number of clear extroverts and introverts, and can usually spot one in as little as a few seconds.
- This relates to how you take in information, and subsequently, how you are compelled to action. A sensing person will always want more information, more facts, more figures, more pages to read and absorb. They will rarely feel overcome by a lot of information when in a position to make a decision, relying very carefully on established observations, data, and input. The intuitive person takes information in through patterns, and subsequently, best absorbs information through practice.
Preference #3: Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F) (Logic vs People-based decision making)
- I was participating in a workshop in Singapore with a new work team, and in a hypothetical scenario, participants were asked to judge the merits of saving one of your fellow passengers, a baby, while your boat was sinking. The group of Feelers could simply not imagine a scenario where they could ever leave the baby to drown, no matter how little room was left on the rescue boat. When I asked one of the thinkers why they had made the same decision, he simply said 'When times get tough, you can always eat the baby'
- Thinkers and Feelers will always need each other. Tough decisions must always be made, but when they are unrelenting in nature, they can ultimately undermine the organizations or foundations that they seek to serve. It is because of this that Thinkers and Feelers have some of the most endearing professional and personal relationships amongst the preferences, keeping each other grounded, while bringing everyone along in order to have fun along the way
Preference #4: Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P) (Structure vs. Flexibility)
- Some people (your trusty guide as an example) spend their lives barreling through careers, relationships, and living arrangements sometimes without much semblance of specific goals or plans. Their paths to a destination, whether it be a destination of physical location or mental state, can seem windy and even illogical. They are the ones who cram the night before the test, the ones who procrastinate, leaving it all to what must inevitably be a very stressful series of final moments before the requirement
- Perceivers (you can all stop nodding your heads in guilty agreement now) don't experience these periods stressfully. They are the most energizing of all of them. Judgers (you can all stop shaking your pocket planners in anguish) are more calculated in their preparations and personal journeys.
There are countless resources, certifications, and authorities specifically on the subject of Myers-Briggs, but the most helpful free resource that I've found is located at www.personality page.com, which will help you decode your own makeup, the careers and personas that you might aspire to, and the makeup of the key relationships in your lives. If you aren't sure of your specific makeup, or would like more specifics on your approximate position on the spectrum, there are paid services that you find online. This kind of information is incredibly valuable (some companies go as far as to print your type on your name badge for other employees to see) for figuring out what environments truly make you comfortable and productive.